Whatever be the gifts that the present or the future has to offer, I am still stuck in the past. Not because it was great but because I just can’t seem to let go… There definitely are things that I would love to forgive and forget, but my mind seems to be stuck in that hard bound concrete past. After continuously telling myself that I need to accept certain events and move on, I do get it out of my mind but just momentarily. At the slightest possible trigger all of those unpleasant thoughts come rolling back to me. The trigger could be anything at all – a name that I recollect from the catastrophe to any song that I enjoyed at that point in time when such unpleasant events were brewing behind my back. I hate to recollect anything at all . They bring back memories that haunt me. My way of coping with such things has always been about dumping all those memories in a tight box in the back of my mind that I resolve never to open. Whenever I feel like I am going even slightly close to anything that has to do with that forbidden box, I just shut myself out. I don’t want to go anywhere near it. I am sure this is not the best of ways to deal with the past, but I guess its just my way. I prefer carrying that luggage without ever dealing with it and getting rid of it. Even if I try to deal with it, it drains the life out of me. I know I take comfort in not having to deal with it but believe me like every other person I would like to travel light in this journey called Life.
Stuck in the past