Struggling with the swings

Normally my mood swings last for a day or two, but not so this time. I have been experiencing it for some time now. I was under the impression that awareness of those hormone swings will help me tide over them. Turns out my hormones are just as aware of my tricks as I am of them. It is just not helping. There are several major things running in my mind right now but I don’t know how to save myself from the trouble. In fact I don’t think I know what it is exactly that is troubling me so much. There is just so much uncertainty around at the moment that I feel like I am standing still speechless while the world is tumbling around me. Is it the search for that perfect house or the fact that I am staying at home all day? Is it because I hate myself being lazy yet I am not really able to push myself hard enough? Is it because I feel like I am gaining extra pounds but I know I only want to start exercising tomorrow (the day that never really comes)? I don’t really want to stay this way. Please god turnaround everything for me with a sway of the wand… Let that magic happen to me.. I am feeling too lethargic to even pray hard…  Pick me and place me in that ideal world where I have nothing to worry… Bring back that innocence in me which will let me just jump around and sing aloud all day.. Give me that happy dream like childhood that I wished I had…

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