The true BUT story…

ohmyhappiness

I’m not homophobic, but seeing two guys kiss disgusts me.

I’m not racist, but Indians smell bad.

I have no problems with Muslims, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable dating one.

I have lesbian friends, but what’s with the not shaving?

My friend is dating a Syrian, but they’re so stupid.

I’m completely fine with Christians, but they are too extreme.

I understand what Palestinians are going through, but why do they have to ruin my country?

I’m not sexist, but women can’t drive.

I feel bad for poor people, but they should just work harder.

I fully support activists in Lebanon, but why do they have to be so annoying?

I love my maid, but I can’t trust her.

I’m a feminist, but women should listen to their husbands.

I go to gay places sometimes, but I’m just not comfortable there.

People with special needs are human beings, but you…

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Stay poor yet look rich

 As social as we human beings are, there are many fascinating behavioral patterns that can be followed. Social acceptance is placed on the 4^th level on the Maslow’s need hierarchy theory. According to me if I were to revise this theory based on my observations I shall bring it to the 2nd place and place it after physiological needs. This will therefore be applicable only after basic food, clothing and shelter needs are met. Maslow might have felt otherwise but in my view times have changed so have people. The moment the basic needs are met, our focus shifts on what other people think of us. The picture of our life and luxuries in our head is only painted after weighing all the ideas that we have in our minds. And beware the ideas are never research based. They are more often than not mere reflections of our own self esteem. The funny part being the self esteem is also an idea that we make up in the head, and it is usually on the lower side. Thinking about all this, Life feels like a story that we create for ourselves. Nothing is real; nothing can be etched on stone.

Even while creating that pseudo image about ourselves we look for a third umpire view so that we view how our life looks to the other people around. Based on this thought we make up any entire chapter of self esteem in our life books. These thoughts may not always be true as usual, yet that is the way of life. This constant thought of what others will feel about us leads to a dilemma. A dilemma so strong that it disturbs the basic balance of life. A viscous cycle thus begins.

Wealth is one factor that generations have sworn by as an indicator of happiness. The more the money , the happier they are. Every person in their heart is aware of the fact that this is a myth. Yet the myth remains so strong in the subconscious mind that at the moment of judging people , it takes full control. In spite of the fact that radiating happiness is what we should be looking for, we are hooked on the wealth display. Agreed when people can afford it they shall go for it. But what when they are not able to? Does that have to imply they made bad choices and settled for something lesser in life? In theory we would all like to say NO NO to all the above questions, but can we really abide by it?

Can we actually stay away from the viscous cycle of displaying more wealth than we actually have just to please others and thereby become poorer than we actually are? Are we ready to stay poor just to look rich to the others? Save me for I don’t want to be a part of this. I would like to make my self esteem independent of what the others have to think or say. I would like to be true to myself.

 

 

  

 

When I thought I felt lost in the routine of life, I found this one to tell me life is just as it is supposed to be. This moment onwards I shall try more to focus on the present.

Zen Warrior

Before Enlightenment chop wood, carry water.  After enlightenment chop wood, carry water.

Zen Proverb

A common misconception in following a spiritual life is the belief that in order to follow the practice that one must live in a cave, wear a saffron robe and beg for alms. This picture of a monk with a shaved head living in the mountains leads one to believe a spiritual practice is not possible unless one practices asceticism.  This commitment level and practice is too much for some so they refrain completely from practicing a spiritual life.  This all or nothing mentality creates a missing in a person’s life.  It IS possible to have a spiritual existence without a shaved head and bamboo cup.  Many masters  in India as well as spiritual practitioners across the globe live a regular life with a family, and a job.   How is such a life possible?

The essence of living…

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The opening line matters

“You are wrong … It is not like that… You don’t know….” Many times we have been used to start our sentences with these words. It surely is a very negative way to start a conversation. Not every person will be able to consciously pay attention to the words they choose to make a beginning with. It might just be our way of communication or an underlying pattern.  While talking there is never an undo key, is there? It therefore becomes very important to pay special attention to develop a more positive communication pattern. In conversations it is a now or never affair unlike writing where in there will be as many chances as you need to make changes. No matter how many books are written about the positive conversation skills i believe it comes only out of conscious effort. An effort that needs so much awareness that it feels impossible to achieve.

I want to be able to cultivate the positive communication skill so much so that it shall become engraved onto my personality. I do realize it is a tough one to crack yet I desire to achieve it.

Desire to achieve it, is my first step towards it.